aH of smiles and tears: April 2006

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

my beautiful college friends after the Easter Rock and Roll Concert...

haha..but we had fun.. reallY.

gosh.

so embarrassing. i told them WE DON'T HAVE TO DRESS UP...but..no.. we were all so excited..yea..WE... we were even more rock and roll than the people who were acting in the musical.

and this is my favourite photo..

ok..

talk to me soon? :D

happy birthday jon jon.

u know..i thought i was doing pretty well.. exactly 2wks ago i was writing this letter to michelle lee..and telling her that i was trying to settle down in melbourne.. all this uni URGhs...

and then! on sunday evening..with all the stress of finishing two law essays by mon and wed.. jus hearing JOY LOW'S VOOOOICEE after so long (i know some of u are super blessed to haf seen her the DAY BEFORE...wOahss)...i started crYing la..

goodness...

see..i do miss u!!!

it's so easy to get overwhelmed by work..im still reali tired..zzz... but life is good..am learning alot..not jus in uni but from those around me.. sometimes i feel reaaaly stupid and really bad about myself....but...owell.. it's still good.. im still alive.. =)

p/s: justin, i met ur classmate chris last week when sheryl was here.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

m-w.com's word of the day is risorgimento. how nostalgic.

Friday, April 21, 2006

hehe

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Monday, April 17, 2006

After many moons living in the US of A, I feel finally qualified to comment on the secrets of the American accent. The foreigner should try and understand this Code for his/her own benefit, lest they be deemed unacceptably fobby. (F.O.B= fresh off the boat)

1.) Americans adopt the unsounded 't' consonant, especially in the middle of a multi-syllablic word. This can come in two forms. Firstly, the 't' becomes inflected to a gentle 'd' sound, where the plosive quality of the 'd' where the tongue punches against the back of the teeth is traded for a less percussive form. For example, 'butter' becomes 'budder'. Secondly, the 't' can also be pronounced as a light glottlestop, as indicated by the apostrophe. It sounds almost like a break in the word, and the vowel after the 't' is emphasised with a slight forcefulness. The sound is created at the back of the throat, almost as if one were to go 'mnm'. For example, 'forgotten' becomes 'for-go'en' and 'Wharton" becomes 'whar'en"

2.) The 'r' consonant is also very important in American-speak. The letter 'R' in a word is a signal for the speaker to create a very rounded 'r'- this requires a curling of the tongue and the raising of the soft pellet. For examples, the Singaporean 'flavour' (flay-veh) would sound more like 'flavor' (flAy-veh-R') At the start the word, the letter 'r'

ehh..i kind of got distraacted but will continue more later.. part ii coming soon. anyone else have any comments?

Friday, April 14, 2006

Ahaha. AHAHAHAAHA.

Thank you guys, for making me laugh so very hard. This just goes to prove the age old saying that, perhaps the poet never meant everything to be that way, just that we read too much into it. (Or maybe just trained by lit lessons to interpret as such.)

I thank thee all for making my humble little poem sound so deep, with all the fancy literary terms and concepts. CALEB YAP YONGWEI your language is so freaking cheem! But that's good lah. Haha.

And anyway, it's napalm la, if anyone guessed. Haha... obscure right. But I maintain that its less obscure than the damn telephone booth/landscape/don't know what white elephant poem during our prelims that was about RACISM ok! Haha. Glad you guys had fun critiquing it anyway (I hope).

Hurhur we can like set mock exam papers and model answers or something with this stuff.

Anyway in response,

Brandy: Enjambement!!! Hahahaha I miss that word. I think I sort of meant it to rhyme and have the punctuation placed as such but I wasn't sure of the specific implications of it.

Sulynn: Umm... he has no emotion? Haha... I think it's because he's supposedly so entranced by it that there is nothing in his vision or mind except the sight and thus he isn't feeling anything at the moment. And I guess I just meant the whole poem to have a strong aura of desolation.

Caleb: I have nothing to say except, you're TOO PRO!! I tell you, you can make anything sound good. Haha. 'Teo' sounded SUPER weird though ahahaha.

I miss lit! It's so much more fun than umm. Financial accounting... or statistics. Sobs!

Thursday, April 13, 2006

there's very little to say after what sulynn did to the conceits and brandon's comments on the order of form. but i shall try and perhaps argue a little on the matter of particularised stylistic devices.

Teo's craft also favours the use of punctuation to reflect the mental landscape of the subject, providing the reader with a sense of the interior world of the psyche.

notably, the poet poignantly employs the full stop to highlight the solitary nature of the subject's predicament. in each line, the metric progression of each line is brought to an abrupt halt by the use of the full-stop. this creation of a deliberate end-stopped effect isolates the idea in each line, and also mirrors the subject's sense of being cut off from community. in doing so, the poet crafts the punctuation as a supporting facet to the conceit of the outcast. aurally, the order of punctuation establishes a sense of awkwardness in the reading of the poem (i.e. the elliptical voids inflected by the punctuation) and underscores a state of confusion and discomfort. thematically, the clever use of the fullstop further complies with the text, giving the reader a tone of sombre severity and formality that defines the first stanza. the sense of terminality and conclusion gives the reader's mental landscape a more rooted and anchored quality- a dark weight that foreshadows the absolute loneliness of the subject.

Teo also displays a subtle use of subsidary punctuation as a device in inflecting the metric order to underscore the thematic message. the use of the comma often accompanies the elaborative repetition of adjetives, a technique which accomplishes two major objectives. the first- the internal line-break offers an moment of brief alignment with the subject's interior, experiencing his momentary break of concentration when distracted by the beauty that captures his attention. the subject is 'staring, intently' at thte 'sparkiling, bright, colourful light' (ooh, yes i spell colour with a U), a departure from the pattern of endstops at each line- indicating the extent of the subject's captivation with the fireworks(?). secondly, the internal break of the metric sequence favours a fragmentary effect that mirrors the visual spectacle of a firework display. Teo cleverly captures the dynamic of the firework display in her poetic use of punctuation. the presence of plosives in the 'burst of brilliance' that this writer takes as fireworks further draws the attention of the reader to the foregrounded fireworks display, a technique which not only captures the spontaneity of the kinesthetic eruption but also enhances the internal metric break of the comma.

interestingly, Teo's adroit departure from these stylistic norms in the third and last section of the poem accompanies the acceleration of the poetic movement towards a neat conclusion. as the 'spectacle recedes' and the poem draws to a close, we see the involuntary awakening of the subject from the firework's spell, much like Titania's awakening from her incantation to love Bottom- a symbolic indicator of the cadence towards a solemn finish. Teo breaks the rules she establishes prior to this point, ignoring the regularity of fullstopped lines- highlighting the sense of momentary confusion and mental bewilderment that comes with the awakening from the spellbound stupor. the lack of fullstops creates an acceleration in the scansion that is marked by a cadential quickening of pace, a quickening which has to decelerate again when the reader encounters the trio of isolated one-liners. the single line cadential movement prepare the reader for a close to the poem, and also underscore the realisation of the subject in his true state of loneliness. Teo joins the ranks of other poet-masters in this typical conclusion to a poetic epiphany- the metric form of the acceleration to a climax mirrored by the controlled retardation and decrescendo to a single thought, a quiet conclusion.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

since brandy has raised expectations, i shall acquiesce and take a break from mugging for my real lit-philo-hist combined paper tomorrow for a moment (although i'm quite sure that there are fellow AH babies out there who could do a much better job.. my forte is imagery and prose, not poetry.) i won't be typing in proper paragraphs or sentences since i do have exam studying to do; i'll just briefly point out what i noticed and what brandy didn't touch upon, and then go back to mugging. here goes nothing..

first: the light-darkness polarity. conventional literary associations of light: salvation, enlightenment, heaven - 'divine gift upon the land' invokes the semi-religious shower of blessing, allusion to heaven suggest elevation; 'bright' vs. 'night'
vs. darkness: damnation, ignorance, hell.
motif: 'he stands alone./in the dark of the night'. repetition imprints image. posture of standing suggests strength, perhaps resistance against the surrounding darkness - but this neglects that he is 'in' the dark itself. inescapability of situation.
the image of what i shall assume is a firework: 'burst of brillance.../ sparkling, bright, colourful light.' the firework is essentially a 'spectacle' - short lived. if there was hope or salvation seen in its blessing, it is a false expectation. the firework, for all its beauty, cannot erase the reality of the persona's solitary predicament. it is 'in front of him' and a mere display.
similar deflation occurs with the simile of the 'divine gift'. poet has chosen to use a simile as opposed to a metaphor, which emphasizes the fact that it is a comparison and hence not real.
rhythmn: notably staccato, even clumsy, when reference to light is being made (forcibly broken by the fullstops), less so at the lines that hint or directly at the epermeral/true nature of that light.
'glued' - a rather odd word to use. glue as an artificial adhesive - is the persona forcing himself to be 'entranced'? would this explain the rhythmn of the "light" lines? breaks the flow of first 3 and 4 lines in first two stanzas respectively. pronunciation forcibly draws out moment and perhaps time - allusion to the intensity (false or otherwise of moment).
a reversal of the light-dark polarity: the persona only discovers his truth once he 'snaps out of his reverie' and is back in the darkness. light was unable to deliver the expectation of salvation and being a 'facade', was nothing more than a beautiful delusion. only the night is real, only the darkness 'truly' is.
(since i'm an infp personality... something bugs me about this poem, and i want to know:) where are all the emotions? disturbing detachment of the persona, who stares so hard at fireworks he is described as being 'glued' (subconscious wish to become part of the spectacle?), but feels nothing. possibly, his singular detachment is indicative of why he would be so fascinated the 'spectacle' that promises blessing like a 'gift upon the land' - pastoral and natural fecundity, richness, bounty, multiplicity.
'his hair stands': perhaps as close to a physiological/physical response that persona shows. but where are the emotions?

i realise i didn't state what i thought the theme was. but that should be self-evident, no? and now that i've thoroughly mangled the poem (sorry miche), and thoroughly disgraced myself with my incoherence (but i really have to save my brainpower and time for my mugging), i take my leave.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

this poem deftly manipulates form to subtly enhance its themes of loneliness and the presence of a 'beautiful facade' that momentarily alleviates the individual of his pain.
the first two verses provide a vivid image of the immense presence of the abovementioned 'facade', and the structure reflects and augments this point. free verse and no enjambement in the first two verses draws sufficient attention to the solitary rhyme in each verse - 'night/bright/light' and 'night/sight' - the sole distraction from the persona's feelings of loneliness. interestingly, the rhyming words themselves are polar opposites somewhat, thus accentuating the image of the hitherto unnamed 'light' in the character's line of sight. just as the man's solitude is broken by the incandescent [wow i have never used that word before] spectacle in front of him, so is the free verse shattered by the presence of three and two rhyming words in the first and second stanzas respectively. thats not all. the second verse also boasts an extra line [vis a vis the first verse, which has 6 lines] - a 'divine gift', 'conferred' on the verse. also, the increased proximity of the rhyming words [only one line separates them, as compared to three in the first verse] suggests that the 'spectacle' is growing more intense, engulfing the character's sense of desolation and casting it aside as he becomes besotted of the sight. this is supported by examining the 'burst of brilliance' in the first stanza - the alliteration and use of plosives draws enormous attention to the opulence and magnificence of the scene unfolding, especially for a poem with no capitals and a dearth of 'hard' [is that the right word i forgot everything] consonants. furthermore, the internal rhyme within one line -'bright/light'- speaks of the heightening intensity of the 'brillian[t]' 'spectacle', and prepares the reader for the aforementioned increased proximity of the rhymes in the second stanze, as well as the injection of an additional line. the second stanza is thus, structually an extension and evolution of the first.

however, there is a turning point after the second stanza which exposes the 'light' of the first two stanzas as a faux epiphany. it is revealed that the 'spectacle recedes' - and so does the form. the last 4 stanzas are succinct...okay la the last three are all one-liners. it is also interesting to note that emjambement now creeps into the poem, breaking the sense of expectation created by the rhymes and sentence breaks of the first two stanzas. just as the spectral fata morgana begins to dissipate, the poem dismantles itself and degenerates. the penultimate line is significant - the word 'truly' indicates a finality to his emotion and covertly suggests that he was cuckolded by the fantastic display of light -the 'beautiful facade'- into dismissing his feelings of solitude. indeed, the last line of the poem reveals that conclusively and decisively, he is 'alone'. bereft of the luxury of distractions and the excess of crafted form, he is ultimately left to his own devices.

theres alot more to be said [e.g. the motif of 'he stands alone/in the dark of night'], especially since ive talked exclusively about form. but its just that i love form. and i have a stomachache so i have to go. sulynn can go and do the thematic and linguistic analysis.
mrs c, if you are reading this, i realize that ive done this critique wrongly because ive placed form first. im sorry i just couldnt resist it.

scented english creams are GORGEOUS.

Monday, April 10, 2006

beautiful facade

he stands alone.
in the dark of the night.
staring, intently.
glued.
to the burst of brillance in front of him.
sparkling, bright, colourful light.

he stands alone.
in the dark of the night.
his hair stands.
entranced by the sight.
glued.
to the colours descending upon the earth.
like a divine gift being conferred upon the land.

as the spectacle recedes
he snaps out of his reverie
and sees

that

he is now, truly,

alone.

Anyone interested in doing a lit critique? I'm bored... and slept like, 1 hour. Haha. I miss you guys!

Friday, April 07, 2006

the fire alarm went off about 20 minutes ago. it at first appeared to be another hoax by silly canadians who began celebrating arts county fair (a.k.a. canada's biggest on-campus bzzr garden) several hours too early. then we smelt something pungent and chemical, and there was a bright glow from the field. being typical human beings who would open a box explicitly labelled 'do not open', c and i drifted over for a closer look.

some idiot had lit a bonfire. there they were, seven residence lounges end to end, burning merrily in a row. i could have cried from the sheer immaturity, inconsideration, and the quite laughable incongruity of it all. alas, i was not allowed back into my nice warm room until the fire fighters figured out that it wasn't another pissed-drunk freshie wondering what the bright red box outside the stairwell was for.

as of now, no pictures are available. aa said that we ought to discuss it in arts one seminar - the symbolism of the black skeletons of couches blazing bright against the night sky; the nature-culture division implicit; the imagery of hell; a commentary on the activities of the student animal under the cover of darkness; last day of school traditions which involve waking up a thousand students at 3 fucking 30 am; etc.

i live in the wild wild west. yes i do. so what does your university do on the last day of school?

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

"Okay," said the major, "we got a few standard type questions for you. Just answer'em truthfully, no bullshit. You don't know the answers, say so. One thing I can't stand is wishy washy crap. Ready?"
"Yes, sir."
Pulling out a piece of yellow paper, the major put his pencil down and read slowly.
"How many stars we got in the flag?"
"Fifty," said Paul Berlin.
"How many stripes?"
"Thirteen."
"What's the muzzle velocity of a standard AR-15?"
"Two thousand feet a second."
"Who's Secretary of the Army?"
"Stanley Resor."
"Why we fightin' this war?"
"Sir?"
"I say, why we fightin' this fuckin-ass war?"
"I don't---"
"To win it," said the third, silent officer. He did not move. His arms remained flat across his chest, his eyes blank, "We fight thiswar to win it, that's why."
"Yes, sir."
"Again," the major said. "WHy we fightin' this war?"
"To win it, sir."
"You sure of that?"
"Positive, sir." HIs arms were hot. He tried to hold his chin level.
"Tell it loud, trooper: Why we fightin' this war?"
"To win it."
"Yeah, but I mean (I)why(/I)?"
"Just to win it," Paul Berlin said softly. "That's all. To win it."
"You know that for a fact?"
"Yes, sir. A fact."
The third officer made a soft, humming sound of satisfaction. The major grinned at the captain in tiger fatigues.
"All right," said the major. His eyes twinkled. "Maybe you aren't so dumb as you let on. (I)Maybe(/I). We got one last question. This here's a cultural-type matter...listen up close. What effect would the death of Ho Chi Minh have on the population of North Vietnam?"
"Sir?"
Reading slowly from his paper, the major repeared it. "What effect would the death of Ho Chi Minh have on the population of North Vietnam?"
Paul Berlin let his chin fall. He smiled. He knew he'd won the promotion.
"Reduce it by one, sir."

-Tim O'Brien, Going After Cacciato

Monday, April 03, 2006

this week i learnt something very important, and i thought of sharing it with you people.

when baking a 9-inch cheesecake at 180 deg C, leave it in the oven for at least 26+ minutes, after which remember to check on it periodically. make sure that the center of the cake has set, and is not too soft or too hard. what you want is a texture slightly harder than a custard tart.