Friday, April 30, 2004
ok oops looks like I dont know what post-modernism is :p tmrw is labour day! lalalala no school yayy!!!!!!!!!
.... its a saturday.
Wednesday, April 28, 2004
how does the book enable his elevation? o'brien just wrote the book... if your'e thinking of it that way, then doesnt every author write for his/her own elevation, to make money, a commercial thing? in that case literature is a farce isnt it? its no longer a form of expression or creativity or imagination, it becomes a selfish thing focused on money and fame. and thats just bullshit.
its not like o'brien is writing an autobiography extolling his goodness and his deeds, its not like he's churning out books to sell for cash. would he still write if he wasnt paid for it? who knows, its a means of making a life anyway, but you never know how well your book will be received right? just because its well received, and a national book award prize winner, and it does inherently discuss the inner workings of a writing, doesnt make it any more self-praising. its like saying blogging is a form of self-elevation. maybe in some ways it is, but thats not the only point.
you can always question the intention of the author, but in this case i guess its extremely relevant to point out that o'brien took part in the war. its always easy to make the assumption that he's exploiting the war in vietnam by writing his book to make money, its always easy to come to negative assumptions about people, that everything we do is for money. in that case why do like companies want to save the environment? they dont save the environment for the environment, they save ultimately to benefit themselves!
whats wrong if he has self-pity. whats wrong with escapism. isnt that one of the main reasons for writing anyway? why read fiction otherwise? why read about great adventure stories. why watch movies at all? why watch drama plays? i dont know about all of you, but when i went to watch yellow brick road and rashomon and midsummers and rj dance night and whatever, well one reason is to support classmates, but another reason is to... enjoy the show! just for the 1-2 hours of performance you forget about everything else, troubles and ills fade away, you lose yourself in the music, the dancing, the acting, the suspense, the drama, the action, all of it. if that happens then the show has been a success! i dont want everyone to come down to dance just to support, i want everyone to really enjoy themselves and enjoy the dancing. its everything that the arts stands for.
back to o'brien. he doesnt "pretend to explain". he explains. i dont see the ambiguity it in all, for o'brien pretty much explains everything that he does! thats one reason i find some of the discussions abit like out of point, because o'brien explains everything himself! thats the magic of it. especially about the dreaming, thats one of my favourite parts of the book. well i left my book in school *halo* but i remember there's a line about how he can never tell his parents about his dreams, about why he sleeps more, because it would ruin the magic of it all. and about how imagination can bend the rules of reality, and maybe it is escapism, but whats so wrong about that?
whats so unreliable about a first person narrative? its just HIS point of view, you definitely dont need to follow it if you dont wish too. you can discard o'brien and not use it at all in your essay, and i'm sure that you can still get your A. we have such a wide range of texts anyway, use what you want. infact, you shouldnt use a book that you dont want to use. its not just about the A. i mean... thats so science fac already. its like maths. you cant say "oh i dont want to use this method to prove that x=y (or whatever i dropped maths), i want to prove that x=z, then z=w, then w=y" or whatever. everyone uses x=y. why? so they can get the question correct, and get the A. its not like that in the arts is it? the liberty offered to us makes us different. like in s-paper. why dont we all just use the same set of books, and have lessons each week focusing on these books to get our A? which i'm sure can be done easily, everyone would be churning out distinctions. thats because its about the learning, the process, the FREEDOM OF CHOICE.
oh and lastly... i dont think its post-modernistic at all. im not too sure about the definition of post-modernistic, but if i remember post-modern writing is about defying the preset boundaries, about inventing language, about a completely new form of artifice (which if you ask me is kinda contradicting post-modernism in itself). o'brien is just... well meta-fictional (as we have been reminded many times in class), he analyses his own writing as he writes. i think you can say its kind of like a poet who makes corrections over and over in his poem, and he includes his thoughts about the corrections into the poem itself. *shrug* i dont think o'brien is so much making an explicit protest about war, but he is implying about what a war can do, and in this case he's reflecting on himself and how the war affects him (which in turn affects his writing). thats why its timmy trying to save tim's life with a story.
and i've just wasted 30 minutes of my life blogging instead of studying for econs test tmrw which i have not even touched yet. and blogging on the class blog that.. doesnt really look like a class blog, and looks more like a group of 5-8 ppl blog. yay for class endeavour!
oh yah... wah liz i didnt know you could do a no-hand cartwheeeelllllll!!! must teach me k ;p haha wah rau! and can we like get something going with our junior class -_- firstly i heard that blue is not our junior class anymore? if that so okae lah... but do you guys even know anything about red? like seok who won the 800 metres today? and melanie who took part in so many events? and sean who was throwing javelin? lets try to get to know them before arts games lah... kk? =p time to stardy... i always fail my econs essays =(
so many things we could share with each other on this blog vs trying to squeeze in conversations during "one minute breaks" or when u think she isn't looking.
o'brien disturbs me. e4 lessons disturb me. do i dare say this aloud at the next e4 lesson? nah, cos i can't articulate my thoughts in proper logical sentences or even anchor my suspicions to the book. i am not being arrogant by proclaiming that i haven't read the book. i will. i'm getting back to into the grind (shin diNg) and will study my keynes but why am i saying all this out anyway? out of point? fine. so what. much writing nowadays is peppered with alot of out of point stuff.
i don't think o'brien is reliable.
was it mr ngoei who told us that first person narratives are very unreliable? is o'brien pretending to be reliable? are we assuming that just because his book is self-reflexive it is more credible than the rest? because it shows constant reflection, consistent changing, we assume that these factors determine 'improvement' or 'quality'?
does it really "tie up everything all the other books have been talking about"? this meta-narrative, is it possible that it's pretending to be a guide book?
let me drift into a logical dimension. assuming that all war experiences are diverse, and each individual develops his/HER own personal interpretation of the event, how can we assume that The Things They Carried posseses the universal reason for the writing of War Literature? Oh forget it, i can't be logical. let me try again. (K.O. Round Two. Ding dinG.)
it is highly detrimental to our intellectual development if we consider this book a foundation for understanding War Literature. This book pretends to explain. Even though we accept its tendency to be ambiguous I don't believe that in our hearts and in our minds we don't ADORE THE BOOK. Yes, use it in your essay to get your A. I know I will.
The book cannot explain. The Book can explain.
Some of the most disturbing parts of the book: (FOR NOW)
"The Man I Killed"
Dreaming Linda alive.
OOOH. i'm so disturbed. i haven't figured out exactly why. I hate it that the book, or the act of writing, empowers him to create new forms of reality. it empowers him to escape, to forgive himself, call it what you please, it allows him to experiment with different stories, each time twisting it here and there for his own diabolical pleasure. is this done in his self-interest or for our edification? i really doubt he would willingly allow us access to his interior for the noble purpose of explaining the Literature of War. Especially his Tim trying to dream up timmy and whatever, the way he gloats, hey, can't i interpret it as self-pity if i wanted to? His writing is escapist in nature. Indeed, using biblical images, judeo-christianity symbols, fine, i'll put it straight,
the book enables his elevation. i hate it.
WHO DIED AND MADE YOU
(hey, do catch the literary techniques i'm trying to incorporate with that above phrase)
How do we go deeper into the book? Are we only going to accept it as face value (even though it really doesn't seem like we're lacking in depth in our current literary analysis)? How does he protest? Am i assuming that he is protesting against war? And if so, what's wrong with that assumption.
I still struggle with the concept of Post Modernism and the lines are probably blurred so even though TTTC suggests a post modernist style i don't think that's my bone of contention. although i do suspect i am taking a post modernist stance in interpreting the book. for could i possibly be assuming something that the author did not intend/or could never have meant to intend due to lack of ability?
Thursday, April 22, 2004
josh you toot... the spacing is funny. but anyway. hello! i haven't been here in ages... coz of drama. sorry if i've been a bad classmate! rock on everyone i love you guys... haha. will read all the past entries and post properly soon... coz there's E1 now. *beam*
good afternoon 2ah.
it is gp class and we are in the com lab. our gp teacher kept her married name because it sounds dangerous.
"One is not born a woman but made."--Simone de Beauvoir
ahaha. sulynn is high today. she was previously on the 7th floor. she also just wrote her name in 8 bright fluorescent colours on her russian rev notes.
an introduction to non-divinely inspired haiku psuedo-poetry typed out by the gp rep, who is frantically trying to do anything but gp.
mouths open, eyes gaze
blindly at the 'puter screen.
2ah: gp.
ahahaha. hahaha. go figure. *waves a banner that protests against the incaceration of ayseajaysea arts students in a stuffy com lab, on the pretext that it reduces their otherwise semi-rational scribblings and thought neurones into verbal insanity, ie. this*
Sunday, April 18, 2004
so cool one post a week... =p
anyway i think yesterdays sji wasnt that bad... at least we met each other haha. i know it was kinda boring lah... nvm next time we'll have it at someone's house and just havoc k? strippers, alcohol, truth or dare, spin the bottle, ecstasy, gambling, the works... *halo*
haha im incriminating myself here lol.
sadly i dont think the next sji can be any time soon... no holidays for a long time -_- labour day falls on a saturday! ARGH.
maybe we can still have one before terms lah... but that will have to be quite soon then. *shrug* maybe we can work something out? and hopefully more juniors will come! ;p especially those that we havent met yet... which is like almost all... haha
why do i always feel like there's no homework ah... is there any?? besides reading s lit books... argh s papers. i think i use the comp too much.
Sunday, April 11, 2004
so long no one blog liao... i havent done any homework over the weekend... was there any? *halo*
anyhows our sji will be next sat k? for convienience sake we probably meet somewhere in town and... well haha i love sushi lah wanna eat sushi buffet? :D then we can flee back to someone's house and slack around or whatever, can teach our juniors how to play pool *remember my halo?*
haha okae anyway tralalala
Sunday, April 04, 2004
sulynn..
u make me miss history =)
Friday, April 02, 2004
i've long wanted to write something on this class blog - to rant, rave, muse, wonder, or at the least, to tell you guys that i really do appreciate each one of you very much. but somehow, everytime i reach this page and scroll through the scores of previous entries, my mind goes blank and any desire to write something just withers away. perhaps i am consumed with awe at the magical way in which you all write. perhaps i dont wish to ruin the poetic congruency. or perhaps, just perhaps, i'm just feeding my inner insecurities. i dont know. but after reading stella's post, my heart is so very heavy and i think i need to indulge in this thing we fondly call catharsis.
i quote:
thou art part of the intelligentsia and genii that crowd around me every day. sometimes respect turns into awe and the atmosphere becomes so stifling that i feel unable to share an opinon because i just feel, too stupid in comparison.
hmm. but i feel even more stupid when i realise that i get lost in such feelings of inferiority. and so i've grown rather immune to it, convincing myself that this is my coping mechanism. maybe so, but well, i think, i've learnt to deal with it (no choice anyway, right?). it keeps me humble i guess hehe. (hmm i think i just oversold saturday night tickets by a considerable large margin) oh dear what am i saying now. forgive me for the lack of direction of this post... i really dont have any specific points i wish to get across. and something tells me that i'll hit the back space key once again and never publish this.
i'm currently trying to decipher all the haphazardly scribbled facts and figures on what i humbly call, my ticketing database. but my handwriting is nightmarish and everything looks like sanskrit. i think you are having E1 now and i can just imagine the trauma ms j is going through :) in a few hours time, the school bell will ring and whilst the fortunate will trot happily home on this wonderful friday evening, the rest of us will find ourselves thrust into yet another flurry of activity. we will disperse, only to meet again on monday. and as we lose ourselves in the happy moments, the laughs, the careless banter, the week will swiftly pass yet again. (i'm trying to remember what we've been through (and perhaps, are still going through)... all the discussions about our class... and some of us feel about it. hmm... regrettably, i dont think i have a substancial argument at this point of time heh..)
ok. i can't seem to pen down how i really feel, but let me attempt to begin by first saying that i truly truly love each one of you very very much. argh that sounds disgusting heh, but really :) i was telling liz yesterday that i really do miss sitting with the class whenever i have to sit at the drama booth during reccess and lunch. i no longer have to do that (yay) but i just want to say that i get very happy at the sight of any one of you walking by the booth. (i can't believe i just said that. how embarrassing hehe.) but yah, thank you alvin stella and sunitha for sitting with me on that horrid afternoon when i just couldn't take it anymore, thank you joy and xiangwei and mich teo for always offering to buy me some food, or berating me for not eating. and the rest of you for just being there, being yourselves, and in so doing, giving me a sense of constancy when i retreat into the lovely company of all of you yet again. i look forward to seeing you all tommorrow!! and i'm glad that after this, i can go for other school productions (like dance and choir......) with the class. heh. yes. pro-AH sentiments always run high during moments of detatchment from you all... so i think right now, i'll not go into the... inherent flaws of our class. i never did blog after fun-o-rama, so i'll say this very simply now -
i love 2AH.
even with all its flaws and weaknesses.
i love 2AH.
i hardly ever express how i really feel so i'll say again that
i love 2AH.
which includes mel jennifer alvin luke sunithaa sulynn xiangwei josh brandy yina ash dawnie lizzz stellaaaa jon caleb joy mich teo u-gine howard justin mr ngoei.
i love 2AH.
i hope we grow together as a class and never allow each other to painfully lapse (and remain) into our own private worlds (we know full well that its already happening) because somehow, the class just isn't the place we can run to.
i love 2AH.
when we find ourselves trudging by, finding it all very monotonous and mundane... lets be more thankful for each other and for the simple fact that we have the opportunity to come to school to learn, and love. i have a good friend who is plaqued with a terminal disease and if she can gaze upon the beauty which so surrounds and see light when the path ahead is shrouded with uncertainty, what more us, who have been blessed with much - good health, good people, and on the whole, good lives..
i love 2AH.
i thank God for each and every one of you and i will try to be a better classmate hahaha.
ok! i really do have to go now. i doubt any of you are reading this still (and i dont blame you for this is very wordy and i am getting bored myself.) once again i apologise for being rather directionless. see you all on monday. and those who need rest, rest please. God bless!
Thursday, April 01, 2004
okae i haf several things to sae...
first... new layout! yay... hope you guys prefer it than the previous one =p
second... ah babies -_- wah rau dun call them that can! (they know our blog liao btwaaaaaayyyy)
third.... GEOG ROCKS!!!!!!!! (ahred i love youuuuuuuu) all you history people can go and )#@*$()@*#)@*)# muahaha...
lastly... whatever lah hah? ;p
=)
brandon, did u just do a prac crit on sulynn's writing? what u say about sulynn, what sulynn says about u, how u say it, how she says it, it's inspired me to reflect on so much.
i can't believe i still have the energy to blog down my irritating comments after 'living that day all over again' in my previous post that sulynn had inspired me to write. i never really got to the point in that one and i don't think i will mention entirely what ur post has stirred up in me too.
how dare i have the audacity to post something that is not up to standard with the previous post? don't i just destroy the collective beauty of these cousins' literary contributions? (i.e. u and sulynn) yet underlying such emotions is an insecurity that i think some of us have shared at some point of time. thou art part of the intelligentsia and genii that crowd around me every day. sometimes respect turns into awe and the atmosphere becomes so stifling that i feel unable to share an opinon because i just feel, too stupid in comparison. does it ever get so bad that i don't dare to ask questions because it's SHAMEFUL not to understand, or even choose to extricate myself from class discussions?
the remarks we make in jest betray us.
i hope that we've managed to overcome this 'intimidation' or at least achieved some way of coping with it. the reason why i'm highlighting this feeling now is because up til now, i still feel it sometimes. i won't let it prevent me from asserting my opinion most of the time, i.e. now, but i still think it's a hindrance to those who may have lower self-esteem. passive learning suCKS! (we're an arts class for crying out loud!)
i don't know why we put all this stuff up on the web for others to scrutinize and judge but i hope especially that... (and maybe now i'll finally be able to get to the point)... our ah babies will be able to overcome this tendency to think that 'others-are-better-so-just-shuddup-and-listen-or-speak-up-and-be-condemned. it's really not going to help ur own intellectual development and may well prevent u from forming friendships.
is it obvious that there are many emotions and thoughts rushing through my head? i really tried to be as clear as i could. sigh :( i really need an outlet for all this frustration and anger. but never mind, u don't need to understand la!
sulynn. for years i have read so many blogs, so many books, so many passages and gp packages and slomans and whatever crap. i have long been searching for a writing style that i would totally completely love, that i would be so captivated by it i would willingly cut off my [dominant, hi-hat playing] arm if i could write as well.
i have found it.
sulynn, your writing style is by far the best i have seen in the past 10 years of my life in a blog or personal context, and is one of the most exceptional of all the pieces of literature i have read. it is not merely about what you write about, or about the arguments and thought processes that you put forth in your entry that define your writing style - they are simply indicators of one's intelligence, not one's flair and aritistic ability in writing. writing is indeed an art, one that needs to be refined and cultivated such that it rouses the mind and totally enraptures the senses. intelligence is like an unfinished, unpolished stone sculpture, and one's writing syle is the chisel that ultimately transforms it from a mundane yet complex monolith into an overwhelming, beautiful edifice that cannot help but capture the attention of all those around it, as well as eclipse all similar forms. yours is one of the most complete and perfect works of art i have seen in my lifetime, and in your previous entry, you have simply bedazzled and impressed to no finite end [apologies if i am being hyperbolic]. your writing style contains one of the most potent elements that can be utilized in prose - emotion. you are passionate about the subject that you expound on in your entry, and you are unafraid to let your passion show in all its unbridled glory. you do not wallow in cold, monotonous observations and placid sentences - you channel your heart into your writing, you let your brain think but your soul do the talking. it is this emotion and fervent belief that i lack, and it is also why writing styles such as mine will never be able to surpass yours in totality. you have demonstrated to me that writing need not be a detached, third-person oriented experience; it can be highly personal, yet not at all colloquial [how the hell do you spell that word]; it can entertain, yet simultaneously present a powerful statement that moves and shows your innermost unadulterated thoughts. also, you have shown that writing can inspire, throught the sheer brilliance of structure, style and language, that it can influence and move one to write again.
your entry has such surreal quality that it warrants the highest of praise. it is by far the best piece of writing i have seen this year, and perhaps one of the best that i have ever read.
your prose has achieved the status of poetry, and i cannot think of any better compliment. for this you have my utmost respect and thanks.
*applaud*
what passion!!! what determination!! oops, i don't think my keyboard is waterproof so i shall stop here.
sulynn, it's great that u appreciate ur quintet or sextet and it did use to be a seven-egg too.. if u don't remember. i remember my first day in the sea history lecture. argh. as if going to school in the morning to check the results of the test wasn't crushing enough, i remember failing some lit test thereafter too! and haha.. if ms ng is gonna kill u on monday, i would haply sink with u. the memories are still so vivid: taking the test the day before - our first lecture! but we are screamed at, stared at, and even scrutinised by the above-mentioned individual! haha! o woe!! i still remember weiming (what a funny ri boy, i thought) sitting beside me going 'oh sheet' and playing with his hair. i remember an exasperated joy after the test who was bemoaning the fact she wouldn't get in. i remember leaving the room wondering why that teacher was now smirking. i remember approaching her after the history tutorial (which was after i failed that lit test) to ask if i could do anything about it. but she.... wouldn't listen. (that's as much objectivity i can muster for now, haha.. i don't trust myself with the truth.) i remember that swift conversation, the door leading to the side of the staff room closing in my face and me, in a bid to cheer myself up, bounding up the stairs leading to our class. i slipped, tripped over the stairs, and somehow landed in a puddle of mud! could my day get any worse? well, joshua nair was behind me as i fell. he was leaving to go to the dentist. THUS, it was just nick and i from ah who attended the lecture. we sat at the side, the right side of lt3. and it was painful. i kept thinking of joshua nair who had told her in the history tutorial before that, "i want to switch to sea because i'm sick of learning everything from an american point of view". it was then that nick and i resolved to top the level for history! we shifted to the front row! the front row, where we continued to sit for the rest of the first term. (do u still do that sulynn?) i remember the group of students who tried to appeal for ih and.. it wasn't a pretty sight. (bombs away!) i remember losing my spectacles on that day too!!! good grief! did i mention that it was quite a bad day? as i was frantically searching for them, i bumped into teo who was with mark ooi and well, he said that he remembered seeing them on a table in lt3. and that's how i remember moving to the front. the front - oh, it got better when my good friend dawn (silly og mate who NEVER came for orientation) joined us! we had a funny kind of fun.. scrambling to copy down every single word from the transparencies - i even tried to draw a map once. i bet u can imagine right? nick, dawn and i zooming through, at least u can imagine dawn la! and of course, joshua nair sitting beside us jotting down selective notes in his big notebook and asking intelligent questions now and then. but.....
mr ngoei asked me just the other day - monday - what it was like being in sea history and i tried to choose my words very carefully. i wouldn't dare pen down life after that first lecture but i would love to elucidate in private. i wouldn't say i understand your current predicament but sometimes i do feel very blessed that i've been on the other side. and i appreciated that life: learning about our region is fundamental in our role as citizens of a global community and it can get quite inspiring at times, eh? I still keep my er.. 10% photocopied stuff on the politics of sea and the various basic texts (10% photocopied only too) cos i feel they truly teach me how to appreciate my roots! especially since i probably won't always be around in future, i guess it means more to me too. :D
the grass is only as green as you can see.
